Help! My two year old throws tantrums and is driving me crazy!

“No” and tantrums are likely to occur in 2-year-olds because their limited language and maturity makes it difficult for them to express their feelings, such as anger or frustration, in acceptable ways. Here are some suggestions:

• Young children can be easily distracted, so when you sense he is getting “worked up,” re-direct that energy into a different activity. It’ll work best if you involve yourself along with him. For example, ask him to chase you as you run from him or suggest you see who can get to front door first. An active game or activity is always appealing to a 2-year-old!
• Behavior you pay attention to will increase, so ignore her and start doing something interesting, like getting out some play-dough, or paper and crayons, or putting on music and dancing; or if you know she’s safe, move away from her or to another room…or if necessary, move her elsewhere.
• Keep your distance, but try to talk about the problem. Allow her to calm down and to explain why she’s angry so you can help her. Even if she isn’t able to talk about it now, you’re showing her what she’ll need to do as she gets older.
• Assess her needs, as she may be hungry or tired and therefore unable to control herself any longer. If so, try soothing her by letting her know you’re going to help her feel better because you know she’s hungry...tired...or just wanting to be in a different place. Meet her needs as quickly as possible.
• Give her the words she needs, and then as she tries to use them, reward her with a hug, a kiss, a smile, and a verbal “thanks for using words.”
• Respond with patience, NOT with spanking, threats, or yelling. These kinds of actions won’t help her learn the behavior you want. Instead they build anger and resentment and teach her that hitting is the way to solve problems.